Have you ever felt guilty or ashamed for getting angry, sad, or expressing your emotions? What about for making a decision that was best for yourself at the time. Sometimes those around you try to make you feel bad for things they can’t do. This is called control. We sometimes feel “bad” for things because of those around us not because we actually feel that way. Jim Carrey once said, “Before you label yourself depressed, first, make sure it’s not the people around you making you feel that way.” Well, here is why you don’t need to feel “bad” for being you.
Sometimes what we feel is our weakness is actually our strength. It’s the one thing we are constantly focusing on, which means we are learning how to do it well. It’s the one thing that is pushing us to do better and be better. – MJ
I never knew I was a victim of gaslighting until later in life. It took me years to discover that those around me tried to use my strengths against me. I wasn’t like anyone in my family. I wanted more and went after more. When I was being attacked for those things, I realized it was because they would lose control if I made those things happen.
Now and days, people will undermine you or talk down on you to make it seem like it isn’t what it really is to benefit themselves. To them, they need it to be that way. That’s why when people can’t stop you they try to control your reputation. That can get ugly and it’s hard to deal with at first. Here are a few things people who want to control you (gaslighting) would say at certain times:
When they do you wrong: “You’re just playing victim”
When they can’t do what you do: “You’re crazy”
When they want to do what you do, but don’t know how: “You can’t do that”
When you stand up for yourself: “You like to argue”
When your truth reveal their lie: “You’re lying”
When they try to do what they told you you couldn’t or laughed at your idea: “You’re jealous”
When you tell the truth about them: “You just want what I want.”
Many people are like this today because they have been lying or faking majority of their lives. As we all can see, many people can’t think for themselves. They don’t know who they are, so they think and live through others. They are the easiest targets for narcissists. They keep narcissists afloat. These people are victims themselves and most don’t know it. Even if they find out, it’s too late. Some of them never figure it out and will suffer from Stockholm Syndrome.
The best thing you can do is live your life the way that makes you happy. Your life, your success, and the things that matter to you the most should be your focus point at all times. You’re not going to please everyone and shouldn’t live to do so. Those in your life may try to stop you or make you feel as though2 you can’t but that only means they know you can do it.