Category Archives: Healthy

How To Live For YOU

You should push to live for YOU every day. Happiness comes from within, so if you’re looking for happiness in your career, family, friends, titles, etc., then you’re going to be disappointed all the time. Happiness is a good thing, but nothing beats being in love with yourself. Ten or twenty years from now, when you look at your life, being proud of your success and who you’ve become will be one of the most pivotal moments of your life- if you live YOUR life. The majority don’t know how to think for themselves. This is why you see so many people doing the same things. Why not stand out?

How do you know if you aren’t living for YOU:

Everyone likes you.

You make decisions based on what others “may” think.

You can’t think for yourself.

You have to be around everyone and everything all the time.

You can’t be alone.

You don’t who are or who you want to be.

You hold back because you don’t want to lose people.

You’re a follower, not a leader.

Living your truth is really important to your success and your future. If you are willing to accept what comes with choosing you, then my next point will help you get there. In order to live for you, you first have to think for yourself. Thinking for yourself begins with the way your subconscious thinks. This development begins early in life and is affected by your environment, your circle of friends, family, and experiences. Read my blog post on how to reprogram your subconscious.

https://myekajohnsoninc.com/2019/01/24/reprogramming-the-subconscious-for-your-new-journey/

What programs your subconscious?

Your circle

What you watch on televison

What you read and study

Your experiences. If your experiences are bad, to reprogram your subconscious, you need to create new and positive experiences.

Your words. “The words that come from your mouth, you’re the first to hear.” – India Arie

Your decisions

How you handle certain situations

Relationships

How you spend your time

Living for YOU requires you to be rejected and lose people in your life. That’s okay. This process is about you and if you’re the chosen one, it won’t matter later anyway. What’s meant to be, will be. Everyone isn’t going to like you or be for you. Whenever you are set to do BIG things, you lose those you love the most, first. It’s a test. The higher you go, the stronger the test. Below are two blog posts that could help you understand why this happens and how to deal with it.

https://myekajohnsoninc.com/2019/11/07/how-to-succeed-the-non-traditional-way/

https://myekajohnsoninc.com/2019/04/28/i-am-a-woman-and-i-am-in-leadership/

If you want to live for YOU, then Do YOU. Fuck what others think or how they feel. Most of the time, they are jealous. They can’t do it or are afraid to, so they try to stop you. When they realize they can’t stop you, then they copy you. Jealousy is real and people have done crazy things out of jealousy. If they aren’t trying to help you, then leave them alone and do what you need to do to have a great life and to be happy. You aren’t responsible for their life.

The Mindset of Success

Have you ever wondered why when things are going well, other things began to go bad? For example, when you’re happy and negative thoughts begin to take over your mind. What about when you set a goal, reach that goal, then a friend or family member turns their back on you? There are pros and cons to life, no matter what we do or how we do them. Have you ever heard the saying, “No matter what you do, good or bad, someone will find something wrong.” That’s a true statement. I’ve always said, do what you want and be who you want to be because not everyone is going to like or approve. You can’t have success without cons. This doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy your success, but you can only enjoy it if you understand the cons, first. Here is what you need to understand about success.

Negative thinking:

The way we think is based on many factors. Those factors consist of who we hang around, what we watch on television, what we eat, etc. Negative thinking could and will randomly happen when you least expect it. I like to call that an “attack.” This is your mind attacking you from the inside. All the things we allow inside will eventually come out some way, somehow. Most negative things we allow on the inside will come out through our actions, how we treat others, how we spend our time, and the most crucial one, our mindset. Your mindset is the most important factor to your success. It determines how far you’ll go in life. Which brings me to my next point. Disapproval from others. To be successful, you’re going to have to change. It may not feel right or be easy, but you have to grow in every aspect of your life to reach your highest potential. Here are five crucial factors that affect your mindset:

  1. Your environment (neighborhood, household, church, etc.).
  2. Your circle (friends, family members, influences, etc.).
  3. Your entertainment (music, television shows, reading material. etc.).
  4. Your mindset (your character, your personality, how you treat others, decisions, habits, etc.).
  5. How you think of yourself and how you treat YOU. People will treat you how you treat yourself.

https://myekajohnsoninc.com/2019/01/24/reprogramming-the-subconscious-for-your-new-journey/

Disapproval from others:

Disappointment usually comes from wanting to be loved and accepted by those you love and care for the most. You’re human, so it’s okay to feel this way and want this from close friends and family. However, this can also thwart you from achieving success because you become addicted to wanting it from them, so that becomes your focus. You can’t expect to reach new heights in life and take people who aren’t meant to be there, with you. This is why maturing and allowing yourself to change is important. You have to be strong enough to accept this and move on from it. There is no other way. Many people can’t handle not being invited to things, people not liking them, people talking about them, or people discrediting their success, character, and reputation. So, they give up on what’s important to them to become successful and give in to their enemies. There are willing to do what their enemies what them to do, act how they want them to act, and be someone they’re not because it’s easier. However, it will affect them later in life. You will lose close friends. Your circle will become small. Those you love may give up on you. It’s all part of the process. Remember, what’s meant for you will eventually find its way back.

https://myekajohnsoninc.com/2019/11/07/how-to-succeed-the-non-traditional-way/

The thought of fear:

Fear is the downfall of success. You can fear being successful and you can fear the feeling of failure of not becoming successful. At the end of the day, we all fear what others may think about our lives and what we choose to do with it. People tend to treat you how they see you. This is why so many people work hard to appear successful, but realistically, they are not. Success is a term we use to define who we are and what we have achieved. Many people never become what they would like to become in life because they fear what may happen or not happen. Others fear success because they can’t handle what comes with success. Either way, you may have to deal with things that are uncomfortable but it’s part of the journey. Not allowing yourself to deal with the uncertainty will stop you from growing and maturing into the person you need to be to achieve your success. Allowing it will teach you things about yourself and life that will be beneficial to your future.

https://myekajohnsoninc.com/2019/12/30/success-without-haters-isnt-success/

The Top Ten Things you will go through being successful:

  1. Having haters and others praying and wanting you to fail
  2. Uncertainty of what to do next or how to do it
  3. Uncertainty of where you are going and how
  4. Failure and the embarrassment, shame, and guilt you may feel from it
  5. Lost of friends, family, and those you care for the most
  6. Fear of making the same mistakes
  7. Making the same mistakes
  8. Stages of instability
  9. Fear it may not work out
  10. Feelings of regret, failure, uncertainty, and fear

I Took a One-Year Break From My Career

I know many of you have read about Deanna Mulligan stepping back from her career for two years. She was 41 at the time and in the prime of her career. Now she is CEO of Guardian Life Insurance; a company that was once her client. What a great move. I, too, decided to do the same thing at 29. I was in the prime of my career, lived in one of the best apartments EVER, had a great circle of friends, and life was great. However, I was exhausted.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/she-took-a-two-year-break-in-her-career-now-shes-ceo/ar-AAICL10

In October 2018, I retired early from the company I started in 2007. Many would say that being able to retire at 29 is a great accomplishment, but retiring early was a much needed step at that time in my life. As a kid, all I ever wanted to be was CEO of a large company. I made it happen, but by the time I reached the peak of my career, I was exhausted. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Here’s why:

I focused too much on who was on the journey with me.

  • I felt like a bad ass owning my business, modeling, and acting in my twenties. I was living the life many people dreamed of. However, I wanted certain people to go with me and it didn’t happen. I felt entitled because I was the only one I knew doing what I was doing, so I tried to figure out why so I could change their minds. Even though, I was a confident woman, I tried to prove myself to the people who rejected me because I felt entitled to.

I tried to control my life.

  • One of the biggest mistakes we make in life is trying to control what happens. It’s a defense mechanism because we are afraid of getting hurt and/or failing. I had a goal, I knew the steps I wanted to take to get there, and I had a vision of how the outcome would be. I wanted everything to be perfect.

I reacted to everything.

  • If you didn’t give me my way, I didn’t like you and wanted you to pay. THE WORST ATTITUDE TO HAVE. The worst part about me reacting this way is that it’s not me at all. I was afraid that if the vision in my head didn’t go as I planned it to, that it was going to set me back or I was going to fail. My biggest fear was failing, but my definition of failing was things not working out the way I THOUGHT they should. What I wasn’t mature enough to understand is that even if things don’t happen my way, doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen.

I forced things to happen.

  • You were not going to tell what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. I was so determined to get what I wanted, that if you didn’t support it, you were my enemy. Even, if you had good intentions.

What did this cost me:

I put myself into debt.

I forced myself into depression and having suicidal thoughts.

I didn’t focus on the woman I knew I could be and wanted to be.

I missed out on opportunities.

I didn’t allow others to fail, make mistakes, and be where and who they are.

I hurt others.

I was angry, frustrated, and easily irritated all the time.

I became prideful and entitled.

Taking a break from my career and normal life routine opened my eyes to who I truly was and how damaging things were becoming in my life. It was bad because I was TOO focused on what I wanted and not focused enough on what I truly needed. Here is what taking a one-year break from my career taught me:

  • Just because you can’t do anything at the moment, doesn’t mean that your skills, talent, gift, and purpose go away.
  • What’s meant for you, is ONLY for you.
  • Jealousy and envy of what someone else has or are doing, takes away your focus on what is important to your purpose.
  • Life isn’t fair, but when you focus on YOU, the things meant for you will come and if it doesn’t it wasn’t meant for you to have.
  • When you rush things, you open the door for things that are not meant to be part of your life, and it could hurt you in the long run.
  • Life isn’t perfect, so stop expecting negative things to not happen. There is always going to be things going on, but how you deal with it is important.
  • Titles, the amount of money you have, who you know, where you’re from, how you look, how smart you think you are and what you have accomplished DOESN’T mean you will reach your fullest potential. You get there by appreciating where you are, those who love and support you, and taking care of you and what you have now.

“If something is not really given, you can never really have it. You do not really have love, when you force someone. You just have resentment. You do not really have success, when you force it. You really have anxiety. You do not really have respect, when you force it. You really just have anger.” Unknown

I was afraid and I allowed my fear to overtake everything in my life. I still have a few things I need to heal from and overcome, but it doesn’t mean that I can’t choose to make the right decisions. Now, I am back in my original career, I have a six-figure job, with full benefits and it allows me to travel a lot. I live in one of the greatest cities and I am happier than I have been in years. Most importantly, I am back to doing what I love. 2019 was one of the best years of my life and I am proud of the decision I made to better myself and my life.